My first kiss

Zwei sich küssende Frauen, aufgenommen 2010 in Paris

Two girl friends: they every weekend, talking, drinking and laughing together. But one of them is scared. She has these feelings that she couldn't explain. A short story.

I grew up in a four-roomed house with my grandmother and my younger cousins. We had a big family in different houses, and as young people we became friends. Not far from my home was our friend who owned a house and who sold liquor over weekends. I used to meet every Saturday and Sunday in this shebeen to drink liquor with my girl friends. All of us had our ‘baby’—who were younger girls. We treated them like our girlfriends but most of my friends had their boyfriends too. Only I didn’t have a boyfriend.

I started to spend a lot of time with my baby girl, who was short and very beautiful and was still attending school. She started to visit me every day after school until late. We would spend time together, talking and laughing. She had a boyfriend, but when we met I always looked at her lips, I just wanted to kiss her. But I was so scared because I had these feelings that I couldn’t explain.

I went to the shebeen one Saturday afternoon as usual, as the girl did not live far from the shebeen. When I arrived she was standing with her boyfriend in the street chatting. I was shocked and angry, and couldn’t stay in the shebeen any longer. My friends were worried about me because Saturdays and Sundays used to be our day until the evenings.

I arrived in my room and slept. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I heard a knock on my door but I didn’t open. I just heard her sweet voice. “Why did you leave the shebeen?” My heart beat faster. She came in wearing a black blouse, a gold skirt and a smile. She jumped on my bed and kissed me. I kissed her back for the first time and held her tight. I felt the heat course through my body; my hands were shaking. I couldn’t see anything, only her. That was my magic and special kiss.

This text was published in  "Rivers of Life. Lesbian Stories and Poems", Südafrika 2013.

About the book

A group of lesbians and trans*people from the townships of Capetown took workshops of the Heinrich Boell Foundation in cooperation with Free Gender. They learned to write stories about their lives. "Rivers of Live" is a collecetion of their best stories and poems.